Girlfriend of 4 years throws boyfriend’s anxious cat onto the street after an argument, not knowing he was planning to propose in a month, he rescues the cat, confronts her until she admits it, and ends the relationship

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jun 18, 2026 1:30 PM EDT

It's important to set boundaries in relationships. One of those boundaries has to be: "don't throw my cat out of the house when you're mad at me."

We've said it a hundred times before, but we'll say it again. People, discuss cats when you start dating someone. If cats are important to you - which, if you're here, then they probably are - then you have to let the person you are dating know about that as soon as possible. Some people hate cats, as unbelievable as that may sound, and those are people that you should probably avoid dating. Some people don't care about cats - that is also a red flag. Align your goals and expectations about all important things. You have to. And those things have to include your cats. 

Otherwise, you might end up in a situation like the one that was recently written about on r/relationship_advice and end up having to break up over a cat. And this wasn't just any breakup. This was a four-year relationship with plans to get engaged a month away from the incident. And maybe you want to say that four years… that's too late to align expectations, but no, it's not. If a line is crossed when it comes to your pets, then actions must be taken. 

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  • 01

    "I (26M) fear that my girlfriend (24F) did something to my cat that is now missing"

    "She admitted to kicking my cat out of the house because she was mad at me."
    via Unsplash / realfish

    Worried ginger cat peeking from behind a bush, as shown by a sweet ginger model. 

  • 02
    I (26M) fear that my girlfriend (24F) did something to my cat that is now missing Using a throw away account since we follow each other on Reddit
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 03
    My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years already, living together for 2 years. It wasn't always easy, she does have some kind of anger issues, especially when we fight she has a pattern of throwing stuff. After some time she has been diagnosed with bipolar and anger issues, which makes sense but she has been seeing a therapist and taking meds.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 04
    I have a cat since I was 22, that is living with us. For this story I will call her Mel. Mel is four years old and an extremely anxious kitty that never leaves our house.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 05
    Yesterday we had a huge fight that was connected to me and my female friend that I saw a day before that and had an unexpected coffee meeting. I didn't plan it, we
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 06
    just ran to each other in the shop and decided to have a coffee to update each other's lives. I came back home and told my girlfriend that I saw my friends and she got extremely mad and started accusing me of cheating.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 07
    I always update her about stuff but since it wasn't planned I didn't have time to do so, which she treated like I lied to her and cheated. The fight got heated and I got upset as well, especially seeing she is not willing to listen to me, so I told her I'm gonna just sleep at my male friend's house. So I did just that.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 08
    Today I came back home to talk to her calmly but since I came back very early I assumed she was sleeping and wanted to feed my cat first.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 09
    But I couldn't find Mel, even in her regular spots. Panicked, I woke up my girlfriend asking where Mel is but she shrugged it off saying that she doesn't know, showing me that she is still mad at me like she was yesterday.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 10
    I know it might sound rare but for people that have a beloved animal, I truly love my cat and see her as part of family. I feel bad even thinking about my bf doing something to my cat but I can't help but wonder,
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 11
    especially seeing her "whatever" behaviour and denying everything. I also do remember that Mel was laying on a couch when I left because I pet her while leaving. Our house also doesn't allow her to just run away, she is too anxious to do anyway.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 12
    I have no idea what to do, I called animal shelters in our neighborhood asking if they found a kitty but no clear answer to that. Also my girlfriend isn't willing to talk about it with me so I feel very uncomfortable. I feel awful for suspecting my gf but how can I approach it?
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 13
    EDIT: we talked over the phone and she started crying admitting she kicked my cat out of the house because she was angry with me. I'm completely heartbroken
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 14

    "(UPDATE) I (26M) fear that my girlfriend (24F) did something to my cat that is now missing"

    Cheezburger Image 10639113984
    via Unsplash / Oscar Fickel - oscarfickel3

    Ginger cat carefully walking on top of a fence, as shown by the purrfect orange meowdel. 

  • Some things are just unacceptable. We have all the sympathy in the world for people who are sick, but cats cannot pay the price for your illness. In situations like these, it's either the girlfriend needs to go or the cat needs to be taken to a different home, and there is no middle ground. Using the cat as a weapon against someone that you are angry with hurts the cat first, and that's beyond wrong. 

  • 15
    Hi, first of all, I just wanted to say thank you for all the advice given on how to approach the lookout for my cat and also. how to navigate this turbulent relationship with my gf. I have great news, Mel was found!
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 16
    My neighbour found her hiding under his car and called me immediately, and let me tell you, I RUSHED to his place. Thankfully, my cat is doing okay; she just seems scared and anxious, but right now she is resting.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 17
    But when it comes to my girlfriend, I just don't know what to do. She admitted to kicking my cat out of the house because she was mad at me. She actually came to my house when I texted her to say I'd found Mel (I know I shouldn't do that, but I texted to update, not to invite her).
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 18
    She basically started crying, saying that she didn't mean to, that her mental sickness had a big part in her behaviour. I tried to comfort her, but honestly, I feel completely numb. I told her that I want to be left alone for now, and after some time and collecting some of her stuff, she left.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 19
    To be honest, I can't imagine having her here again. I think it finally clicked in my head that there were times before that she mistreated me, and I just let it slide because she had me wrapped around her finger. I feel I would go insane if she stayed in my house, especially if I wasn't around to see what she was up to.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 20
    For now, I'm just so extremely happy that Mel is back with me, and at the same time, I need to make sense of my relationship ending. I truly feel conflicted; it feels like I'm "too attached" to her. But at the same time, I know that I would struggle to trust her, knowing that she is likely to have another breakdown sooner or later.
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 21
    Any tips on how to manage heartbreak? It would be appreciated. She was my first love, and I planned on proposing to her in a month lol. But given the situation, I guess it's not happening
    via ThrowRA4989
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10639113728
    via Unsplash / Hadley Woodall - hadleywoodall

    Cute ginger cat standing in a field, as represented by a kitty model. 

  • We are sorry to hear that this man is hurting. We have the story from his perspective only, obviously, but it genuinely seems to us like he's a good guy. This was the only right thing to do though. This woman needs to go and take care of herself before anything else. Keeping her around would have been too risky with your cat. We wish her all the best. We hope that she manages to take control of her life. And maybe, just maybe, when she's in a good place, the CDS will choose her herself. 

  • 23
    ZBTHorton Want to know how to manage the heartbreak? Have a bada day with your cat and try not to think about the person who just literally tried to k l/take away your animal from you for virtually no reason. I bet you get over it faster than you think.
    via ZBTHorton
  • 24
    LordsOfJoop She punished an animal on your behalf. There's no walking back from that. An otherwise-innocent creature was made to suffer fear over her preferences. You can choose better and should start today. See you at the gym. Good luck.
    via LordsOfJoop
  • 25
    Knittingfairy09113 Block her everywhere. Spend time with your cat and remind yourself that you almost didn't get that time because the ex is an animal ab er
    via Knittingfairy09113
  • 26
    Cheezburger Image 10639113472
    via Unsplash / Hans Ott

    Adorable kitty peeking from behind a window, as shown by model. 

  • 27
    zomgitsduke You can manage heartbreak by going no contact with her. Get a security camera in case she starts stalking you (she might), and you need to get an order of protection. A simple camera pointing out your front window should suffice. You need to find activities that bring you joy. Reconnect with friends, anyone you went to high school or college with. Ask them if they'd like to catch up on a hike or something nice and fun.
    via zomgitsduke
  • 28
    Focus on yourself - cook a lot more for yourself, start getting into shape, do something that helps you feel good like getting a good haircut or some new outfits, and start attending as many social events as you can. As for your cat, give Mel tons of extra snacks and dedicated attention.
    via zomgitsduke

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